jennifer-jenny-jen

self-destructive behavior.

Dear X – I love you madly, deeply; I wake up in the middle of the night craving you. When I am overstimulated and need a minute (or five, or ten), you are always there for me. I have loved you since I was 18 years old, even though when we’d first met four yearsContinue reading “self-destructive behavior.”

giving birth to a school year.

The school year is three weeks old and I haven’t succumbed to the stress yet. As I was wondering and marveling at this (no small feat), it occurred to me that being an administrator in an educational setting is a lot like giving birth to a child. More specifically, like laboring to give birth withoutContinue reading “giving birth to a school year.”

the false reassurances of relationship.

Caveat lector: this is, in fact, a reflection on gratitude. But you’ll have to indulge me first. Although this time of year is touted as a time to reflect on the importance of the people in our lives and revel in our gratitude for our family of origin, chosen family, and friends, for many itContinue reading “the false reassurances of relationship.”

burning “too” brightly.

Throughout my life, there were times when I was told I was “too much” or I felt like I was too much: I was too loud, too sarcastic, too energetic, had too much hair, did too many things, had too many friends, ate too much, snorted when I laughed, and otherwise made my presence knownContinue reading “burning “too” brightly.”

the end of friendships.

Dear Mutual Friends: It’s not you, it’s me. Thank you for trying to stay friends with both of us during and after our divorce. It was a boost to my self-esteem that you hung in there, refusing to choose sides, trying to be objective, and wanting to remain in both of our lives. I didn’tContinue reading “the end of friendships.”

…photographic recollections.

At the end of every year, I have a ritual of offloading photos from the cloud to an external hard drive. In the beginning years of this process, I created a new Photos library each year. As technology has evolved, I discovered that it was possible to keep all my photos in the same library,Continue reading “…photographic recollections.”

…multilingualism

While traveling through Morocco chaperoning 33 students on an Arabic and History study tour, I surprised my colleagues by revealing a basic level of understanding of both French and Spanish. Because I have always been ashamed to have lost my fluency in the Romance languages, I don’t often speak about my capacity for world language.Continue reading “…multilingualism”

holiday hijinx.

Being the only outpost of our family outside of Chicago has always been particularly challenging around the holidays. Not only Christmas and New Year’s, but other more benign holidays, too: Labor Day, Memorial Day, the 4th of July; Mother’s Day and Father’s Day especially, and Thanksgiving most of all, since that was always a smorgasborgContinue reading “holiday hijinx.”

cobwebs in dark corners.

When I was a kid, I would often escape to my bedroom with a book in order to avoid the hullabaloo of my house. In college, I spent half my time surrounded by friends in crowded dorm rooms and off-campus parties, and the other half alone, manically scribbling in my journal in dark booths inContinue reading “cobwebs in dark corners.”

sleepless nights.

Nobody can deny the very real affect that a woman’s monthly cycles have on our ability to focus, complete tasks, deal with stress, and myriad other things. But knowing how changing levels of estrogen and progesterone affect our moods and physicality doesn’t make dealing with these sometimes drastic shifts any easier. In college, I wasContinue reading “sleepless nights.”